Day 10 – The Hardest Day

What’s hilarious is that Day 9 was such a high for me (what with the Italian Wedding Soup and all!), and Day 10 was such a low.  Breakfast was okay, but for lunch I was caught with my pants down, and didn’t feel like heating up soup.  So I ate some leftover meat dipped in my cashew ranch dressing, which was good (Omaha steaks dipped in ranch dressing?  Yes.), but was not a complete meal, and I felt it.  I also relied heavily on LaCroix and snacks (I had something from my “emergency stash” while at work, and had an apple).

I had this brilliant idea to do a “sub in a tub” for dinner, with Thousand Island dressing (do people everywhere else in the country have Thousand Island?), only I realized that a) we had no mayo and I was avoiding eggs, and b) we had no ketchup.  So I went out after work to get all the ingredients to make my sub in a tub – sugar-free roast beef, eggs, light olive oil, tomato paste), only to get home at 7:00 and not feel like doing any of it, because I had a mound of dishes to do from earlier when the sink was clogged and ahhhhhhoverwhelming.

So I had some applesauce & an RX bar, and called it a night.

So, basically I fed my sugar dragon all day yesterday.  Sigh.

On the plus side, though, I did stay compliant… which was a small miracle in itself, because, damn, I was having a craving for like everything I ever had in my childhood.  Chocolate milk.  Pizza.  And Ranch dressing.

The ranch dressing was the worst, because it wasn’t regular ranch dressing, it was Very Specific Ranch Dressing.  Specifically from Perkins restaurant, that they use for their breadbowl salads.  The Perkins restaurant in my town closed about 16 or 17 years ago, but we used to go there a lot when I was a kid, and they had these breadbowl salads.  I’d get this salad, thinking I was being healthy, with extra ranch dressing.  By the time you got to the bottom, the bread was soaked in ranch and my dear god it was delicious.  It was just an all-around perfect meal (that was slowly killing me, but that’s another story).

So I had some pretty strong cravings yesterday, and coupled with my lack of proper planning, I was very proud of myself for staying compliant at all.  I am doing this round with a Whole30 buddy (Randi) that I think is making all the difference.  I can’t let Randi down!  If I quit before, I’d only have to answer to myself.  But this time, I’d have to answer to Randi, and being a “people-pleaser,” I have to do what she tells me.


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